Well, I am the least disciplined person I know, so I don't know if I will be able to keep this up. But I am trying not to quit before I start just for fear of failing. :) Diane says I am the consummate blogger because my kids are at the perfect age, doing funny things everyday. I can't argue about the kids!
I don't know if I should introduce myself, or if only people who already know me will be reading this.
So, I am married to Brian and we live in NE CA in the high desert area. I have two kids, Max and Madi.
We were getting in the car to pick up Brian at work. He'd been gone a couple of days, and as consolation, I had taken the kids to the Dollar Tree to get a little toy. Madi got a bear and was being very maternal with it. So, when it was time to pick up Daddy, Madi began to narrate to the bear about what we were doing.
She talks for the bear, of course, and it seems the bear was surprised that there was a family member she hadn't met yet. Madi was explaining that while it is true that there are homes with only one parent, this one had two: a mommy and a daddy. Other homes with only one usually are that way because of divorce or death. !!
At this point, Max interrupted her and tells her to stop. She asked why. He said, 'next you are going to start talking about orphans!'
She jumped on this and said, 'oh, yes! Then there are some kids called orphans and BOTH of their parents are dead.'
Max stops her again and clarifies, 'your bear is a baby, right?' She confirms that the bear is a cub. So he continues, 'then you need to protect her from those things!'
Madi retorts, 'it is REAL. It really happens. Divorce happens, death happens. I have to tell her the truth! Like when soldiers cut off hands of the enemy so they can count the dead bodies more easily.' (I can't even remember if I taught her that from the Bible or Greek History!!)
Max is exasperated. Madi is matter-of-fact. I turned on the radio so they wouldn't hear me laugh!
This reminded me so clearly of a time a couple of years ago when we needed to buy a new dishwasher. At the store there was the line of washers up along the side wall, arranged in order by price. Brian and I stood back in wonder as we watched our kids gravitate to opposite sides of the display line. Madi stood pressing herself from knee to cheek up against the most expensive model, caressing it and begging to get the 'so pretty' one. Max was down at the other end, fist on hip, finger wagging, 'Madi, that one is over one thousand dollars! This one is 200. We need to get this one!'
What is it called when you see ghosts of the future? lol
Anyhow, after we were home from picking up Brian, I got some time alone with Madi. I wanted to figure out some more about her ideas regarding teaching kids and divorce. So I asked her when was a good time to explain to children about divorce and death.
She answered so diplomatically, 'well every mom should be able to choose if they want to tell that stuff with the kids are toddlers, older or teenagers. It is the mom's choice.'
I saw that I needed to get more pointed. 'So, when do YOU think you will share that stuff with YOUR kids?' She said she wants to teach them young, as toddlers, because she wants to start school with them right away. I didn't push any more. I had more to explore.
I asked her if she thought she would ever get a divorce. She answered that she would if she chose the wrong guy! I asked her how she would know if he was the wrong guy. She said if he didn't want to spend time with the family or if he didn't like homeschooling.
I caught that one and ran with it. 'What will you do if your husband doesn't want you to homeschool?' She was quiet a long time. She got a little embarrassed and finally said that she would homeschool and get a new husband. lol
So, I grabbed her and we sat down on the couch together. I told her that her husband is more important than homeschooling, and if he wants her to put the kids in public school, she should do so cheerfully. She was so sad!! lol She said that she wanted to teach about God. I told her that she still could when they are home and that she would need to be in the classrooms with her kids, getting to know what is taught, the friends and parents and the teachers.
I think she was really surprised by all of this. I told her that it could be avoided if she talked with the man before they talked about marriage, and let mommy and daddy become friends with him. If we all found out that there were some important things he didn't agree on, then she could tell him that they were just going to be friends. That seemed to placate her a bit. :)
OH, I am so bummed!!! I started just pouring out memories, thinking I could copy and paste them somewhere else and them post them piecemeally here again, with proper subject lines. But it won't work!!!! So now here is this long ol' post no one will read. Grr..