The concept that hurting people hurt people is not a new one. I have read more than one devotion teaching this idea—I most remember Joyce Meyer and Max Lucado. Even so, I think it bears repeating. This morning I read two blogs here and here that touched on the topic and how it relates to body image. Both of these bloggers were speaking more specifically about how the marketed ‘ideal body’ doesn’t buy the happiness it promises. They did a terrific job on that topic and I recommend reading both posts.
I’d like to focus on one point both articles touched on that they used to help explain that all the hate for heavy people has to come from somewhere—and it ain’t happiness!
This is important: if you are fielding ugliness from others, ask yourself why. Happy people are typically too busy being happy to go out of their way to dump a heap of hate on anyone. This makes sense because, like I said, hate comes from somewhere. How can anyone with enough hate to spare ever be happy? They simply cannot. Hate is corrosive, it destroys the holder. Why is this important? Because it can help you know how to react most effectively; it can save you from perpetuating the hate.
Knowing the mean person is actually injured cuts through the chaos and affords you two invaluable pieces of information. First, the obvious: there is someone injured in front of you. That dictates a far different reaction than that of being attacked. You can respond with compassion, and maybe even a little first aid. This totally changes the balance of the interaction and it puts you in charge, instead of putting you on the defensive.
That leads me to the other piece of info: the crap they spew isn’t true! Yeah, baby! Read that again. The hate and condemnation isn’t true AND… listen up! It isn’t even about you! Hate destroys the hater. You don’t have any obligation to pick up what they drop. Imagine injured animals. They can get pretty nasty, but a caregiver would never imagine taking the snarls and teeth gnashing personally; they merely signify need.
So, next time some troll comes after you—on the internet or in the flesh, remember to keep your head. This hater is carrying around poison as a constant companion. That is sad. Be compassionate. Be kind. Be different. Just as important, don’t own any of that poison. Look at what is doing to the hater! Do you want to turn into that? I don’t think so!