Sunday, August 9, 2009

small testimony

So, I was reading Matthew where Jesus calls people to Him who are weary and heavy laden. He says His yoke fits and is light. I rolled over to pray immediately. I told Him I didn’t feel like it is so easy. I had just watched STUPID movie called Confessions of a Shopaholic and there was this scene that caught my attention. This girl has run up debt shopping for fashion and it all catches up with her in a major and public way. Her loving parents whisk her away. The mom walks up to the dad and shows him a book and asks if it is too late. The book is titled something like how to raise financially fit children. My breath caught in my throat. There is SO MUCH to do!!

I felt overwhelmed. I feel panicked, like I am missing the boat, behind, neglectful, less than. I have to raise kids who are fit spiritually, academically, socially, emotionally, physically and financially. I am sure I am missing some -ciallies! So, there I was, praying about feeling like I just can’t do it all. I go through the day painfully aware of my lacking, while being too lazy to do much more about it than feel guilty and self-loathing.

Right at that moment, Brian walked in and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. It is a small thing, but I felt like God was telling me I am not alone. Not only do I have God, but I have Brian, too.

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