Purpose

It is so easy to live life taking care of needs. I think the catch phrase is 'tyranny of the urgent.' Max and I just talked about this the other day. We have priorities and we say that certain things are decidedly more important than others, but it isn't reflected in how we spend our day.

I think, for me, it is more than just tyranny of the urgent. I am not running around taking care of things that can't wait all the time. More often, I am screwing around in front of a screen--until something urgent comes up. :) So, I am a lazy procrastinator! *sigh*

It is hard for me to fight that tendency and live life on purpose every day. I do well for a while, but slip so easily in to the old habits. I wonder if habits are only bad? I don't feel that I have any good habits. Perhaps I am right. Maybe by definition an act that is for good can't be a habit. Who wants to be loved by habit, anyhow?

So, I gotta try harder, get back on the horse, nose to the grindstone and...what? dig in my heels? Any other phrases apply? More journaling here, get back to walking, more time with my wonderful man, more time with my wonderful savior who loves me just as I am.

I have been a little down in the dumps the last few weeks. Better now, but I wonder how much of it is just to keep pushing through. Things got hard, and I did push, I stayed diligent. But then I felt that maybe taking a break would refresh me. I think it is when I took that break that things actually got worse, but I was so down I couldn't even notice.

Lord, help me to push. Help me to keep living, moving through water, rather than lying down to have it wash over and drown me.