Thursday, February 11, 2010


After book time, just before bed, my son shared with me that he thinks God doesn't want him to be a video game designer when he grows up. For a while now he has talked about being either a video game designer or a film writer/movie director. I was intrigued and asked why.

He said he thinks God wants him to be a writer. He says he thinks about writing all the time, and when he watches TV shows or movies, he is always imagining how the show would be written as a novel.

His excitement was infectious. I told him I thought that it was a great idea and drew some mental pictures of how he could do that as a family man.

My daughter, our 'me-too-girl,' wasn't going to be left behind. She announced that God told her what He wants her to be, too. I asked, dutifully, what that was. She said a police officer. Hmmm.. lol I responded, but obviously not as enthusiastically. She said, 'tell me, tell me!!' I didn't know what she was talking about. She said, 'tell me how it will be, like you did with brother! Will I go to work with Daddy?'

Poor girl got a civics lesson! I told her the difference between a police officer and corrections officer, taught her about the legislative, executive and judicial branches. I gave her a brief scenario about a police officer's hours--here it is 6 to 6, and I don't know about other places. Before I was done with my impromptu lecture, she decided she didn't want to be a police officer.

I was ashamed. I don't know how to handle this aspect of parenting. How much to instill. I know about the area of faith. I have explored that issue thoroughly. It is silly to me to suggest that you tell them nothing of faith and let them figure it out and make their own decisions regarding our Creator.

But how hard do I work to mold in the area of career and family life style? I don't want to be the stereotypical New Jersey Jewish mom, directing the lives of her put-upon children. Although, in my personal experience, it was my paternal grandma who was neither Jewish nor from New Jersey. She pulled it off as a staunch Southern Baptist from Arkansas. I also don't want to leave them listless in the wind, falling into jobs that are only convenient.

My other issue is my extreme respect for the nuclear family. I want my kids to homeschool. I even want them to church Biblically. And I want a slew of grandkids! But I don't want to push these issues to the point that I would cause marital strife for my kids. I want my daughter to be a Godly wife, joyfully submitting to his headship of her family. If she has ideas instilled by me about how a good family functions, I will be planting seeds of discontent that could plague their marriage. Oh! Lord, save them from me!

On top of this, I have believed from before conception that I am privileged to know this children of my Master, but have no delusions about them being made for me. I get them a short time, but God has a master-plan (wasn't that a nice piece of literary play?) for them separate from any plans I may have. If the Lord is going to lead them into careers or lives of service far from here, I want to be fully supportive of that--without having to deal with missing them AND grieving over the death of MY dreams for them.

The principles behind telling my children about God include the fact that it is of dire importance to their lives. There is a lot of competition out there to steal Truth from us. I just need to figure out if keeping my family close, and guiding them to careers that would afford them the luxury of living a life-style that emphasizes being in-but-not-of-the-world are goals on the same plane as salvation!

So, was I wrong to not show enthusiasm to my girl for wanting to work 12 hour days, when I envision her being a homeschooling homemaker? Was I equally wrong to push the image of family on my boy who just was wanting to write? I DON'T KNOW!

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