Did you know that? I am not sure that I did—or do! I am so aware of my wretchedness. I know that there is so much to be burned off of me. I see the blessings of friends and families around me and I am so happy for them. But there is this unspoken feeling in me that I shouldn’t hope for blessings like ‘that,’ because I know God has to refine me. Basically, I don’t deserve anything.
My sister was alternating between yelling at me and encouraging me as she saw these feelings manifested. She reminded me to look at myself in the way that I look at my own daughter. She also reminded me that Jesus died for me before I was made clean. As she put it, I was never a worthless pile of poo. Even steeped in my sin, broken and unlovely, He loved me. I was worth His life. And now, I am made clean. I can be worth something.
When will this ever sink in with finality?