Friday, October 21, 2011

I was never poo?

Did you know that?  I am not sure that I did—or do!  I am so aware of my wretchedness.  I know that there is so much to be burned off of me.  I see the blessings of friends and families around me and I am so happy for them.  But there is this unspoken feeling in me that I shouldn’t hope for blessings like ‘that,’ because I know God has to refine me.  Basically, I don’t deserve anything.

My sister was alternating between yelling at me and encouraging me as she saw these feelings manifested.  She reminded me to look at myself in the way that I look at my own daughter.  She also reminded me that Jesus died for me before I was made clean.  As she put it, I was never a worthless pile of poo.  Even steeped in my sin, broken and unlovely, He loved me.  I was worth His life.  And now, I am made clean.  I can be worth something.

When will this ever sink in with finality?

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