Ok, this is my last post on tongues—for now.
Obviously, this has been on my heart. I have been poring over my Bible and praying in fervency, and for both of these I am eternally grateful. How I love a challenge that causes my feet to sift down past the sand to the solid rock!
I have submitted, prayed and outright begged my Lord to give me the gift of tongues. He has not seen fit to do that for me. I used to believe the teaching that this was somehow a result of my failing. And I accepting that I had not yet been baptized in the Holy Spirit.
I reject this teaching now. I do not reject the possibility that I may one day be gifted with tongues. But I accept with humility that I am not for now and that it has no bearing on my closeness with the Holy Spirit.
I have been baptized in the Holy Spirit. I have been washed over and through by His healing and empowering Self. I have been given words to pray when I had none, but they were in English. I have been filled to overflowing with his love and blessings. No one can cause me to believe differently. These are now simple facts.
And yet, in my frail human form, I do question. I wonder. Maybe I haven’t striven enough to speak in tongues. Maybe I am fearful? Listen to me. I can’t even write that as a statement. I just don’t believe it.
I prayed tonight before writing this once again that He grant me this coveted gift—isn’t that a loaded phrase for us who should fly from covetousness, even of gifts from His Spirit. I prayed, I was still, I listened.
And you know what happened? Without even realizing it at first, I felt and saw the wave hit the beach. It came again, sweeping me into its motion and carrying me far from the shore. I went under the water and found I could breathe and see in vibrant color. I was light and lithe and I danced. I came to the surface for a water-spraying leap and dove ever deeper to the wondrous depths.
It all happened so quickly, so naturally. I took a breath and leaned back in my chair. I opened my eyes and sighed out all my air. I was at peace. How could I have forgotten? He gives me visions. That is how He speaks to me. He has always giving me visions. I praise Him!
Long ago I had the vision/analogy that God was an ocean. Our spiritual lives mirror the physical encounters we have with large bodies of water. I will post that vision here tomorrow. I feel that tonight the Lord reminded me of that vision and of the depths of Him that He will allow me to reach.