This has been a really cruddy week. I was thinking about it yesterday and realized it is February—a traditionally tough month for most homeschoolers I know, including myself. I told myself that this year I would be prepared and give myself grace as the funk set in. But this year the natural companion of the funk, a drop in school productivity, did not happen. In fact, school is awesome these days! We have another family joining us for the core of our curriculum and my kids now prefer the joined days over the separate ones. So I let my guard down and thought I was home free.
Boy was I wrong! This week has just blasted me out of the water, and I have been reeling from the impact. I have doubted everything, questioning my own identity.
I use the You Version Bible program on my phone and other mobile device, and I have all but climbed into it. I have been reading 5-7 day programs on topics like depression and God’s love in one sitting, needing more and more of His Word to keep going.
But last night the Lord gave my family such a valuable gift through His Own Body. We went to church and had a terrific meeting that was authentic, intimate and Spirit-led. As people shared, I cried out praises to Him from the depths of my soul. We have been craving a meeting like that for a long time and the Lord provided. After that, we went to a friend’s, who fed us and we watched the first episode of The Amazing Race—one of my favorite shows that we gave up with our satellite a while ago. What an unexpected treat!
God is so very good and patient with me. He gives me all I need and more. I am still working through my patterns of thinking that lead to a sense of loss and disappointment. But I have a restored hope in my Lord, my family and my church.