Saturday, March 17, 2012

Deal with it

Last year was a rough one.  I got used to knowing that 2011 was a challenge.  The problem with thinking that way is that it put a lot of pressure on 2012.  And here we are, and I have a bad attitude rooted in my unrealistic expectations.  When I was a kid, we used to get spanked for DRAs.  Yep, a Dirty Rotten Attitude was enough for physical correction in my household.  And I am thankful for it, because our attitudes serve as rudders to our lives and truly deserve that level of attention.

I have sure had a DRA this year, indignant that everything hasn’t righted itself after 2011.  My primary frustration is with our finances.  I thought losing our house and working on debt would free us up.  All was supposed to be well by now.  We worked so hard and lost a lot last year.  Now is when it was supposed to be paying off.  What a DRA!  I need to get over it; I need to just deal with it.

So, no more complaining about money from me.  My expectations are stripped away, my sense of entitlement is banished.  As I consider conversations with friends over the past few months, I am embarrassed and ashamed of all the complaining I have done.  What miserable company I am!  And it isn’t like anyone else is doing any better than we are.  They sure don’t moan about it, though. 

Thanks, friends, who have listened with sympathy.  I don’t need it anymore, though!  I will adopt an attitude of gratitude and deal with where we are with faith that He has always given us more than we have ever needed.


  1. Let me add something here. I never wanted you guys to deny your feelings, nor to project them. I did want you to manage them. Denial of feelings is hugely destructive - that teaches you to lie about who you are, to yourself and to others. That is A Very Bad Thing. Managing how you act on your feelings is A Very Good Thing. The DRA was to identify a cluster of small behaviors that showed me you guys weren't managing your feelings - maybe you were cleaning your room as told, but you were throwing your sister's stuff on the floor and rolling your eyes and muttering under your breath and.... I wish I had done a better job of helping you guys articulate and accept your feelings. E.g.: Discouragement in discouraging situations is normal and healthy. Whining and quitting isn't so much. So learning to express disappointment in a healthy way is an important life skill. I didn't get that until it was too late to teach you guys that stuff.

  2. I understand what you are saying. Feeling and expressing disappointment (or frustration or anger) are healthy. Wallowing is not! :) That is what I have been doing. I am so discouraged, but I think I cause the problem, or at least make it worse, with my attitude. That is what I need to change.


Thanks for taking the time to talk with me!