Saturday, March 17, 2012

Deal with it

Last year was a rough one.  I got used to knowing that 2011 was a challenge.  The problem with thinking that way is that it put a lot of pressure on 2012.  And here we are, and I have a bad attitude rooted in my unrealistic expectations.  When I was a kid, we used to get spanked for DRAs.  Yep, a Dirty Rotten Attitude was enough for physical correction in my household.  And I am thankful for it, because our attitudes serve as rudders to our lives and truly deserve that level of attention.

I have sure had a DRA this year, indignant that everything hasn’t righted itself after 2011.  My primary frustration is with our finances.  I thought losing our house and working on debt would free us up.  All was supposed to be well by now.  We worked so hard and lost a lot last year.  Now is when it was supposed to be paying off.  What a DRA!  I need to get over it; I need to just deal with it.

So, no more complaining about money from me.  My expectations are stripped away, my sense of entitlement is banished.  As I consider conversations with friends over the past few months, I am embarrassed and ashamed of all the complaining I have done.  What miserable company I am!  And it isn’t like anyone else is doing any better than we are.  They sure don’t moan about it, though. 

Thanks, friends, who have listened with sympathy.  I don’t need it anymore, though!  I will adopt an attitude of gratitude and deal with where we are with faith that He has always given us more than we have ever needed.

2 comments:

  1. Let me add something here. I never wanted you guys to deny your feelings, nor to project them. I did want you to manage them. Denial of feelings is hugely destructive - that teaches you to lie about who you are, to yourself and to others. That is A Very Bad Thing. Managing how you act on your feelings is A Very Good Thing. The DRA was to identify a cluster of small behaviors that showed me you guys weren't managing your feelings - maybe you were cleaning your room as told, but you were throwing your sister's stuff on the floor and rolling your eyes and muttering under your breath and.... I wish I had done a better job of helping you guys articulate and accept your feelings. E.g.: Discouragement in discouraging situations is normal and healthy. Whining and quitting isn't so much. So learning to express disappointment in a healthy way is an important life skill. I didn't get that until it was too late to teach you guys that stuff.

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  2. I understand what you are saying. Feeling and expressing disappointment (or frustration or anger) are healthy. Wallowing is not! :) That is what I have been doing. I am so discouraged, but I think I cause the problem, or at least make it worse, with my attitude. That is what I need to change.

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Thanks for taking the time to talk with me!