I’ve been knocked down enough times in this life to know how dangerous it is to be content in my own abilities. Pride is a big pitfall of mine, and I know that I simply must stand guard against it every day. Even so, I still get caught by surprised sometimes by my own arrogance.
I thought that the choices we have made for our kids would naturally preclude us from certain typical issues in life. I get slapped in the face when I am faced with the fact that we are decidedly normal. Then, of course, begins the spiral of dealing with not only the fact that I am flawed, but the guilt for forgetting it in the first place.
I am thankful that I get to stay home with my kids. I am exceedingly thankful that I get to homeschool. But that sure doesn’t mean that raising my kids is the cakewalk I expected. I thought that saving them from peer pressure and the socialization so many feel is a needed part of development would allow us to skip attitudes like sullenness and rebellion.
How easily I forget that those are traits inherited from Adam, not Animal Farm or Lord of the Flies scenarios. It is actually natural. That is our deadly state that leads us to need Christ’s salvation.
So, we are in for a battle and I don’t feel equipped. I relied on falsehoods that lead me to complacency. But family is work. It is more about daily choice than DNA. And I need the strength to choose every day to dig in and give, even in the face of bored or resentful eyes. To love.
Lord, help me!